There was a booth set up where you could clock your dogs at their top speed with a radar gun. I stepped in first and put up a nice speed of 20mph. That was 2 mph faster than last year!
Then porter stepped to the line... The beard showed him the treat, the prize, the delicious milk bone, then ran to the other side of the field. Porter was chomping at the bit as momma held him back.... The tension was so incredible you could cut that steak with a sam tooth. Suddenly from out of the commotion and all of the swirling excitement the beards voice rang out like a beacon, a challenge for porter to give it all he had...
"COME ON POPO!!!!!!!"
Momma released the collar and Porter was off, flying across the field at incredible speeds never before witnessed in a dog size 10-25lbs. He reached the beard and the beard gave him crazy praise, we could all tell that we had just witnessed something very special, something we would never forget. Porter had run....
5mph....
PSYCH!!!
He had actually run 25MPH!
He was the absolute fastest small dog the entire day! He was like a comet blazing a trail through the grass bound for impact with history! He was like the delorean attempting to gain speed "FASTER MARTY!" and leaving a trail of flames in it's wake.
so seriously, 25mph is faster than the fastest human on the planet.
This pansy Usain Bolt only runs a 100m in 9.69 seconds, Porter can run it in 8.94 seconds. Try again Olympic medalist showboat! Porter is King! Get that dog some gold shoes.
so till next time remember that when converting MPH to meters it isn't worth the time to figure out so just google it and there's a program for that!
SAM-
3 comments:
That's hilarious. Way to go, Popo! I liked your writing on this post, Sam.
that really made me think about finding golden dog shoes. not that i have money for such a thing, but it's a nice thought. maybe, if you're lucky, i will pull the beard's name out for gift exchange, and i will find some!
I keep thinking lightning bolt is going to get outted as a steroid user any day...seriously, how could he blow everyone away like that and not even run to the end?
Happy Birthday bearded man.
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